One of the main fears that parents have when getting divorced is that the court is going to “take away” their children and they’ll rarely — or never — be able to see them again. They worry that the other parent is going to “win” the custody case and remove them from their children’s lives.

What you need to remember is that the court wants you to see your kids. The judge wants you to stay involved. Study after study has shown that children grow and develop better when they get to see both parents after a divorce. The court’s main focus is on looking toward the child’s best interests, and that means trying to establish a shared parenting solution.

Now, you are going to see them less than you did before. Your ex also needs to be involved and has a right to see the kids. But don’t think of the court as an entity that wants to deprive you of a relationship with your children. That’s not the goal. Equality is more important than ever, and the hope is that both parents can stay in the picture after a divorce.

When you hear stories about parents losing their children, it’s often when there are components like abuse or illegal activity. For most parents who just want to provide a loving home for the kids, it’s not an issue.

Of course, since your kids are your focus at a time like this, it is important to make sure you really look into your rights and the legal steps you can take as your marriage ends.